Growing up, summertime was my jam. School was out and beach time was in. But as an adult, I’ve come to realize that summer sucks (at least in Miami). It’s hot, sweaty, and the humidity is very unkind to my hair.

Fall is where it’s at. In Miami, we don’t get much of a change in weather. But at some magical point towards the end of the year, the temperature drops and a cool breeze sneaks in, leaving us all in complete gratitude. We welcome the change with open arms.

But when change appears in our lives, we aren’t usually so graceful about it. Instead, we typically try to resist, resist, resist. And the reason I think we have such a hard time with change is because we become so attached to the old situation that it almost feels like a part of us. It feels like home.

I remember leaving my full-time job at a magazine, whose office was in a hip part of town, to work from my boyfriend’s home located in total suburbia. My mind told me I was crazy for leaving this very glamorous life, but my heart understood that my time was done there and there was a new adventure in the horizon.

So I took that leap of faith, but just a few weeks later I felt total buyer’s remorse. What did I just do? But really, the question that plagued my mind most was, “Well now, who the hell are you?” And that was the hardest part: Reminding myself that I was not defined by my job, my location, or anything else superficial. I was Nikki, a person with talent, passion, and the desire to do better — no matter the circumstances.

We tend to make the mistake of defining ourselves by our outside circumstances. And when those circumstances change or shift we can’t help but go into complete panic, ultimately mourning the death of what we thought was a part of us. When in reality, that “part of us” was simply an experience placed in our lives to help us evolve. Once the lesson is taught, it leaves and we are shifted into a new one.

Sure, ideally we want to accept all change with open arms, but if our sense of self-worth is just a tad unstable, even the slightest breeze can knock us down. Knowing yourself, accepting yourself, and nurturing your desires is the golden trifecta that will ground you during any change of season.

I could never leave writing altogether. It’s my means of communication. So I found a way to nurture that part of me that fit into my new lifestyle. Because, yes, change happened, but I still needed to honor myself.

When autumn’s breeze comes in, we accept. But we make comfortable adjustments for ourselves by throwing on a sweater and scarf. The same goes for life’s changes: enjoy the weather, but enjoy it on your own terms.